Lets talk: Masturbation

The Pleasure is all mine.

Practicing self-pleasure is a personal experience that is wildly empowering and exciting. From our studies, 93% of women have said they masturbate and 50% of those women say they do it more than 3 times a week. Now that’s what we like to hear! 

Our bodies are so clever that they actually memorise certain ways of orgasming, which means you may find it harder to orgasm in different ways once you’ve found your preferred mojo. Practicing with your hands, a vibrator/ toy, a partner or even a shower head can stimulate other erogenous zones to help you reach the ultimate state of pleasure. We found out that 2 out of 3 women said their partner was supportive of their sex toy use...now that’s the spirit!

As always, we love hearing from you all because it helps us write and create the most relevant content. Here are some statistics we gathered from our gorgeous Instagram community:

• Do you masturbate when in a relationship?  

91% said Yes,  9% said No

• Do you masturbate with toys? 

74% said Yes, 26% said No

• Do you have a sexual desire to explore masturbation with different toys

89% said Yes, 11% said No

• Is the only reason you masturbate to orgasm? 

52% said Yes, 48% said No

• Do you more often have orgasms via your clitoris or inner g-spot?

88% said Clitoris, 12% said inner G-spot

Part of talking about the wonders of self-pleasure is also acknowledging the flip side: many women haven’t experienced an orgasm, which brings us to ‘Orgasm shaming’. Orgasm shaming is our made up construct to describe the judgement that is often projected through society, media, friends, partners and even yourself...it’s that voice telling you that you’re abnormal, weird, or asexual because you haven’t experienced it. Whilst 92% of our community have had an orgasm, 8% of us haven’t. What’s more, 48% of us have said they find it hard to have an orgasm, so remember that you are never alone!

We find talking with friends a fantastic way to discover how unique and wonderful our bodies are. If you have a friend or a loved one who you know has insecurities in this department, then here are some ways to empower and encourage them to explore their own bodies:

• Gift them a My ilo toy or a luxurious body oil.

• Buy them useful books like ‘Come as you are’ by Emily Nagoski that touch on the complexities of the female orgasm.

• Avoid ‘Orgasm Shaming’ by supporting them when/if they confide in you. Instead of looking at them with pitiful eyes, reassure them that there are 11 different types of orgasms - self-pleasure is an exciting journey that is different for everyone, so no stress!  

• Talk, talk and talk more! If you feel it’s right, tell them what works for you and make suggestions in a non-competitive manner (no one likes a show off...).

Bottom line is, self-pleasure doesn’t always have to be about the end goal. It can simply be taking time out of your day to connect with yourself completely, practice body positivity, or just to relieve the stresses of daily life. Whoever you are, we support you and encourage you to take the matter into your own hands (*pun intended*) with oodles of self-love. 

My ilo x

Written by Margaux Dalgleish  

Image source: Memu Conteh